


I Am Coming Home to You

by spacetrashpile



Category: Not Another D&D Podcast (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, JUST GONNA LEAD WITH THAT, MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR EPISODES 85 AND 86, a bit of projection, also this is very short, and making your own, but since bev isnt getting revivified like hardwon, i used some of the set up murph has in 54, its about the Found Family, lots of references to leaving the home youre born into, lots of references to what you want to vs what you need to do, no beta we die like men, ok actual tags now, so ive been thinking about bev's experience between death and life since 86 came out, this is how i justify the liberties i took, when hardwon dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:21:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22250080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacetrashpile/pseuds/spacetrashpile
Summary: Beverly Toegold has come close to dying before, but never this close.(Title is from "Thus Always To Tyrants" by the Oh Hellos, and also the full lyric that is much too long for a title is "Do not weep, do not wail, I am coming home to you" and I just wanted to mention that)
Relationships: Balnor the Brave & Moonshine Cybin & Hardwon Surefoot & Beverly Toegold V, Dusk Mother & Beverly Toegold V, Pelor (Dungeons & Dragons) & Beverly Toegold V
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	I Am Coming Home to You

**Author's Note:**

> I said it in the tags but SPOILERS FOR EPISODES 85 AND 86 so just do not read this if you're not caught up PLEASE

Beverly Toegold has come close to dying before. He’s fought through wounds and spells that should’ve killed him. He has seen more death than a boy his age ever should, and he has had more close brushes with it than anyone should. Beverly Toegold has come close to dying before, but never this close.

Beverly goes down from the tarrasque’s bite, like he’s done in many fights before. He never remembers the time spent unconsciousness, there’s never anything _to_ remember. But suddenly, the darkness he is suspended in dissipates. He’s still lying on the ground and briefly, Beverly thinks he’s been healed and is back to the fight. But this place is not the Frostwind mountains. The ground is warm and the breeze is quiet and the world around him is empty.

Beverly moves his neck and his hands and he realizes that nothing hurts. He quickly stands up and when he looks around him, he is standing in Hillholme. Beverly is standing in front of the tree where is father gifted him the book, and he knows he isn’t home yet but deep down he wishes he was. As the world around him comes more into focus, he realizes he can’t see past the edge of the lake and into the woods around it. There’s light flooding in from everywhere, and he can feel it pulling towards him. And suddenly Beverly understands. He is about to die.

Hardwon told them what dying felt like, after the fight with the Hounds. He said it was cold and dark but that is not the part that tips Beverly off. It’s the light. Hardwon said that he’d heard his parents and Gemma calling to him from the little light that surrounded him, and that he’d had to force himself not to be drawn into it. And as Beverly stands in the middle of this light, he can feel it calling to him, too.

Beverly can’t see into these different realms, but he knows the difference. Pelor’s realm smells salty, and as he gets closer, he can feel the sea spray on his face. In the distance, he hears his long dead family members call out to him. He hears his grandmother’s soft voice and his Uncle Ronald’s laughter. Beverly thinks he can hear the sounds of a bustling Galaderon, but maybe he’s just imagining it. Pelor’s realm smells and sounds like the home Beverly used to know.

The Dusk Mother’s realm, Shadowfell, is equally familiar. Grimhawk smells less like sulfur and blood since they cleared out the Montgomerys. The church still smells like ashes, though, and the air feels humid. Beverly can hear singing and laughter and knows that these revenents are happy and loved under the Dusk Mother’s care. And among these revenants, one voice sticks out the most. Among them Beverly can hear his father, loud and clear. His voice is more familiar than it has been in what feels like years. He sounds like he did when he preached in Galaderon and when he told Martha he loves her and finally, he sounds happy. Grimhawk feels familiar in a way that doesn’t fully make sense. His father’s voice sounds like his family and the church feels like the life they both knew before Thiala stole it from them.

Pelor’s realm and the Dusk Mother’s realm are very different places but they both call out to Beverly with the same ferocity. “Come home,” they tell him. “Come home, and rest from your journey.” And Beverly feels a desperate longing to listen, to stop the fighting and to run home. There are voices that call to him from both realms but even as he slips deeper and deeper into this world, something is still wrong.

Deep inside himself, Beverly can feel it. Even here, Beverly can smell Moonshine’s Hero’s Feast, he can hear Hardwon’s laughter, and he can feel Balnor’s hand on his shoulder. Beverly _wants_ to go home. He _wants_ to see his family. At the same time, Beverly knows what he _needs_ to do. He _needs_ to help his new family. And as he stands in this celestial Hillholme, Beverly knows that this family and home he’s being presented with is gone. He knows that the only family he can truly return to are stuck fighting a tarrasque in Frostwind. Beverly pulls himself away as the light converges on the place he just stood. Briefly, he glaces between these two afterlives, and for a moment, he swears can see the faint outline of a tall, muscular man and a woman in a wimple smiling at him.

Beverly steps back from the tree, the lake, and the light. He closes his eyes, and when he next opens them, the Frostwind sky is above him. Cooter stares down at him, a worried look in his eyes. Beverly smiles faintly. He’s home.

**Author's Note:**

> Episodes 85 and 86!! oh boy!! the song this fic is titled for is also on my bev playlist which i will leave here for y'all to check out https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5LgzCNbRy3p7ISK4hSMv2c
> 
> i was tempted to add melora's realm in here but i decided not to go with it because i don't think bev had really crossed paths enough with her for it to count but ah well


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